I would love to blog more but time is always a problem...
This was our weekend:Friday: My husband, Yelena and I had a nice dinner together and watched a movie. I noticed a bracelet that I had never seen before sitiing on the coffee table and asked Yelena where it came from. She said that a friend gave it to her. I asked which friend. She finally said C. So I asked if it was OK if I called C's Mom to check and she said NO. She said she found it on the ground at school and we asked why she had not turned it into the lost and found. Meltdown. Finally got her to bed after an hour of screaming.
Saturday: We have two exchange students from Mexico living with us. It is my only source of income at the moment and we really enjoy having them but as far as Yelena is concerned it was a big mistake. She is intensely jealous of them and any time we spend with them or attention that we give them. Apparently, Yelena was in the Mexican girls room Saturday morning. They asked her to leave and then they closed their door and she started to knock on the door for awhile and shoot rubber bands at the door. She thought it was funny but eventually stopped. They were freaked out by her behavior. My husband gave the girls his cell phone and told them to call us if anything like that happens again.
Yelena went for a playdate with a friend from her old school. When she came home, her friends Mom came up to the door and said that Yelena had said that she didn't want her to come in and that she just wanted to be dropped off. We were curious as to why she didn't want her to talk to us. Her friends Mom said they had a great time and Yelena was well behaved and that she spent the $10.00 she had on Yugioh cards. My husband and I looked at each other - Did you give her $10.00? No. Did you give her $10.00? No.We asked Yelena where she got the money from. I told her that if she told me the truth quickly there would be less of a consequence than if she didn't tell me for awhile. She was supposed to go out to a movie and I said if she told me what happened she could go (mainly because I felt like we all needed time apart.) She wrote me a note that said: "I took the money from your purse. Are you happy now?" My husband was ready to call the Crisis Team.
Sunday AM: While Yelena was taking a shower and getting ready for Hebrew School, I went into her bedroom and right in the middle of her bed in plain sight was my old wedding ring. She did not seem to have any recollection when she took it or where she took it from. It was also not hidden and placed in such a way that it was screaming: FIND ME.So, I took her to Hebrew School while my husband called the Crisis Team and they were waiting for us when we got back. I actually went out for the rest of the afternoon so I can't give a first hand report but my husband said she was very volatile.The plan that she did with the crisis team states as the goal: "Client will display good behavior within the next three days to be able to go to Thanksgiving in NY." I wouldn't have written it like that... Also, My husband said that Yelena said she wan't sure she could do that.
Today with her therapist, she said she didn't want help that she just wanted us to send her to jail. This is the second weekend in a row that we have had the Crisis Team in our home. Last weekend, she "broke into" the Mexican girls room and stole a huge bag of left over Halloween candy and rifled through one of their purses. I say broke in because everyone now has combination locks on their doors and somehow she figured out the combination and went into their room.
The stealing and lying has been escalating to epic proportions in the last few weeks. She doesn't seem to have a lot of remorse or shame about it. She knows the rules about stealing and lying but somewhere there seems to be a disconnect between thought and action. The impulse seems so strong that it is not modified by any mere cognitive idea. We can't leave her alone at all. She had her period recently and it could be hormonal or she needs her meds re-evaluted and tweaked. I don't know. I just know that I am totally spent.